“I’m not afraid of heights or falling. But that ‘sudden stop’ freaks me the hell out!”

Those were my last words before rejecting the skydiving gift from a client several years ago.

Initially I laughed it off. But it bugged me that I wouldn’t even consider something that many other people have done successfully countless numbers of times… including my husband…who lived to tell me about it…over and over and over again.

It wasn’t about being a lemming and following the pack. It was more about the fact that the fear of a “sudden stop” stopped me in my tracks and locked me in my comfort zone.

What if my fear of sudden stops was manifesting itself in different ways or in different areas of my business and I just didn’t realize it?

This “sudden stop syndrome” caused me to start my research the science of confidence and the power of influence. After interviewing executives, students, housewives, military soldiers, and many others over five years the nine attributes were discovered.

Before we jump into the divine nine, let me share a few findings that will be helpful on your trek to have a higher level of confidence.

  1. Confidence grows in action and wanes in inactivity; even if it is an action that you used to do often.

    Let’s say that you haven’t taken the stage as a professional singer in 20 years. If I put you on stage today, you might find the butterflies kicking your ass as your confidence will plummet and your fear will kick in. Basically, you gotta use it or lose it.

  2. When your mind focuses on the negative final outcome, rather than the steps towards success, failure is 7.5x more likely.

    If you had to sign in front of thousands of people after 20 years you might find yourself focusing on the negative “What ifs”. Like “What if my voice cracks? What if people boo? What if I forget the words?” The more you focus on them, the more likely they are to happen. Instead, focus on the steps towards the goal. Like, first I have to get dressed. Next, I have to walk up to the mic. Then I will successfully nail that first note, line, stanza, chorus, song, etc.

  3. A person is not confident in all things but rather in specific actions. However confidence can bleed over from one action to another.

    A singing diva may not be a great speaker, however, her confidence as a singer will allow her to take the small steps required to make it to the microphone, face the audience, and open her mouth to speak. The diva, however, may find it tough to use that same confidence to go skydiving.

  4. You don’t need to be 100% confident to take action. However, you will need to know what specific actions to take to increase your confidence to a level where you can herd butterflies like a master.

  5. Confidence in your core area of competence gives you the power that you need to accept change quickly. For example: If that singer had to enter from stage left as compared to stage right or sing the third song first or even change genres, she could do it with little hesitance.

    The reason is that it is easier to accept change is because it is easier to visualize the the change in that for which you already have confidence.


Want to know more?

Ready to tap into your MOJO and be that leader that others want to follow. Grab more of details into the science of confidence in Mojo Mogul – Discover Your Unique Power to Magnetize, Captivate, and Influence.


Let’s cut to the chase. Dawnna is a breakthrough business author and rockstar keynote speaker. She works with organizations that want to harness the power of people to improve business performance. If you’d like her to deliver content like what’s in this article or you just want to see her do thisthen give her a shout.